Mia Thermopolis, Two-Timing Girlfriend
by Mardia
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER UP! ~winces~ I'm sorry it took so long. And I promise the next chapter of Insanity Is Contagious will be up in the next few days.
1. In Which Michael and Mia Get Their Acts ...

Mia Thermopolis, Two-Timing Girlfriend 

Summary: At Mia's tutoring session with Michael, they finally kiss each other. About TIME! Then one kiss turns into two, then three, and so on…Problem is, she's still going out with Kenny….

Rating: PG

Genre: Romance/Humor

Characters: Mia's POV

Disclaimer: Meg Cabot owns the Princess Diaries, I don't own anything, so don't sue. Let me make that perfectly clear. _Don't sue._

Sunday, November 15th 

I have sunk to an all-time low. 

Seriously. This isn't about me being a princess, having my Algebra teacher impregnate my mother and then marry her, or about having no breasts. _Those_ things I can't control.

This? This I could. I, Mia Thermopolis, have become a two-timing girlfriend. 

I can't believe this!

Okay. Must. Breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Nose, mouth. Nose, mouth. Nose-

How could I have done this????? How?

Let me start over at the beginning. I went over to Michael and Lilly's apartment because Michael had offered to tutor me in Algebra. I went over there and Michael opened the door-(wearing this amazing black tank that looked great on him) since everyone else was out. Maya had the day off, Lilly was out with Boris, and Michael's parents were having a romantic dinner together. 

So we sat down and started studying. 

Or I should say, we attempted to study, I was unable to concentrate. And can you blame me? I mean, Michael was so close-and he smelled and looked _great_-

So we ditched the books and Michael got out his guitar and started playing Tall Drink of Water. 

That song…it just takes you out of yourself. I mean, it's so haunting and sad and beautiful….

I told Michael that, and he smiled at me. By the way, he's got a _great_ smile. 

Then-I just couldn't take my eyes off his face. I just couldn't.

And the really amazing thing was, he couldn't take his eyes off of _me_. 

Then-then he slowly leaned in and _kissed_ me. 

I am not even kidding. Michael Moscovitz actually kissed me! I was kissed by Michael Moscovitz!

When we stopped kissing, we just stared at each other in shock. I was trying to get my mouth to form words when Michael asked me if I wanted to stop. 

I, being unable to speak, just shook my head. 

So then he kissed me again. And again, and again….

There I am, in the middle of a make-out session with _Michael Moscovitz_, the guy of my _dreams_, and then Kenny pops into my head. 

_Kenny_. As in Kenny Showalter, my _boyfriend_!

Oh, God. I'm cheating on Kenny. I'm _cheating_ on my boyfriend! I mean, yeah, he's obsessed with Japanese anime, and he doesn't make my palms sweat when he kisses me, and he's _way_ too smothering, but he's still my _boyfriend_. 

So like the huge big-mouthed idiot I am, in between the 16th and 17th kiss, I mutter, "Kenny. What about Kenny?"

Michael, in between the 17th and 18th kiss, mutters, "Screw Kenny."

I go, "Okay," and I promptly resume making out with Michael, forgetting all about Kenny. 

Oh, God. Have I mentioned yet that Michael is an _amazing_ kisser? Believe me, the boy knows how to kiss. 

Just then, Michael's parents just _had_ to walk through the door, saying, "Hello? Michael? Are you here?"

We stopped kissing and stared at each other. We'd been doing that a lot that day. I said softly, "I better go."

Michael said just as softly, "Yeah. I guess you should."

I grabbed my stuff, and in total shock, left the apartment, avoiding the Drs.Moscovitz. 

So, here I am writing this and trying not to freak out. But how can I NOT freak out? I think I've got a good excuse to freak. 

After kissing Michael, I know that I can't keep going out with Kenny. I mean, every time he kissed me, I'd be remembering what it felt like to kiss Michael. And that's just not fair to Kenny. I mean, he deserves a girlfriend who won't cheat on him with another guy. 

I am feeling so guilty right now.

So I called Kenny and asked him to come over to the loft, and I also asked Mom and Mr.Gi-I mean Frank, to not hang around here. 

Kenny could totally tell that something was wrong. But I told him that I'd tell him when he got here. I mean, I couldn't break up with the guy over the _phone_. 

I need to tell him, face to face. Tell him…what? That it's not him, it's me? That I was making out with Michael and I realised that I didn't like him? That I still want to be friends? 

I have no idea how to break up with him. Then, seeing as how he was my first boyfriend, that's not so much of a surprise. 

My mom told me to be kind and considerate, and not to say anything that I wouldn't want to be told if I was in his position. Frank agreed, but warned me not to say anything that wasn't true.  

The intercom just rang. Oh, God, it's him. 

I just had a horrible thought. 

What's Lilly going to do when she finds out I kissed her brother?

~*~*~*~*~

Later…

I feel like scum. 

I just broke up with Kenny. 

I remembered what Mom said and I tried to be as gentle as possible. 

Kenny looked heartbroken, but he was really nice about it. Which made me feel even_ more _like scum. _Complete_ and _total_ scum. 

God, how much of a low-life am I? I just dumped a guy, and I'm actually feeling relieved

Oh, crap. Who's going to give me the answers in Bio now?

~*~*~*~*~

Monday, November 16th, 2001

Oh, crap. Oh, crap. Oh, crap, crap, crap, I am in SO much trouble. My dad looked ready to kill me. I will never be able to go outside again without ten armed bodyguards, helicopters hovering over the area I am, and police cars following me around. 

I screwed up. I screwed up BIG TIME. 

God! Of all the places to-

I know I'm not making any sense. So let me start at the beginning. 

After Kenny left-twinge of guilt at thought of Kenny-I called Lilly and told her what had happened-minus the whole Michael thing.

Lilly was in shock. I mean, she had no idea that Kenny and I were having problems. Which is kind of surprising, when you think about it. Lilly usually isn't that dense. 

She was kind of pissed off about it too. She'd thought that Kenny and I were the perfect couple. God knows where she got _that_ idea. 

Then she mentioned that Michael had been wandering around the apartment like he was in shock or something. Whenever she asked what was going on, he insisted that he was fine. 

Oh God. I tried to be casual and all, but Lilly's known me for forever. She knew that something was up. 

Lilly: Mia, what's going on? Did something happen while Michael was tutoring you?

What was I supposed to say? 'Oh, nothing much, Lilly. Just that your brother and I made out for most of it, but other than that, _nada_.'

Me: Nothing. 

Lilly: Mia, out with it.

Me: No, nothing happened, I swear!

Lilly: (snorts) Mia, you suck at lying. 

Me: I am NOT lying. Anyway, I've gotta go, Lilly. Bye!

Lilly: No, Mia, wait-

CLICK. I hung up. 

When I picked Lilly up, Michael wasn't there. Lilly said that he went to school early. 

I was torn between feeling relieved and disappointed. 

For the entire day, Michael and I avoided each other. During G&T, Michael and Boris played computer games while I did my Algebra homework. 

That was the first time in my life that I was actually _glad_ to have Algebra homework. 

Lilly didn't say anything, but she kept glancing from me to Michael with this puzzled look on her face. 

Even _Lars_ could tell something was up. During Bio, he asked me if everything was all right. I of course, said everything was fine. 

Speaking of Bio, Kenny's still my partner. He said that he didn't want to lose the one friend he had that agreed with him about the sanctity of all life, and most of the guilt I was feeling disappeared. Kenny really is a nice guy. Things are still awkward between us, but I think everything's going to be fine. 

After my review session with Mr. Gianini, I mean Frank; I went out to see Michael waiting for me in the hallway. 

Michael: We need to talk, Mia. 

Me: (sighs) I know. 

Michael: Uh, could Lars stay here?

(I look towards Lars.)

Lars: Okay. Just stay nearby.

(Michael nods and leads me to the janitor's closet, two doors away.)

Michael: Lilly told me about what happened between you and Kenny, and if it was about what happened yesterday-

Me: Michael, I broke up with Kenny, and it wasn't about-that wasn't it.

Michael: Oh. 

Me: Is that it?

Michael: No. Mia, I-we probably should talk about it, though. 

Okay, I don't know why I blurted this out. If I hadn't, none of this wouldn't have happened. 

Me: Or we could just continue from where we left off- (I stop suddenly, looking horrified)

Michael: (looking surprised, then grins) Okay.

Later…

(Principal Gupta walks into the janitor's closet and sees me and Michael kissing.)

Principal Gupta: _What_ is going on here?

(Michael and I jump away from each other.)

Michael: P-Principal Gupta! We-uh-that is to say-

(Principal Gupta stares at us in shock while Michael stammers and I try to wipe off the smeared lip gloss on my face. Lars runs up and stares at us in surprise.)

Principal Gupta: Both of you in my office, NOW!

So there we were, getting chewed out by Principal Gupta. Then she called our _parents_. We were told to wait outside while she talked to our parents. My mom didn't answer the phone, so she called my _dad_.  Oh, I was screwed. 

(Outside in the hallway. Lars, Michael, and I are sitting on chairs, staring at the space in front of us.)

Me: I am dead. 

Michael: Ditto.

Lars: (in shock) I'm going to get fired.

(I stare at Lars in shock.) 

Me: What?

Lars: Your father is going to kill me. I let you make out with a boy in a _janitor's closet_ in your school? He's going to have a _fit_!

I groan. Oh, no. Lars might get fired because of me!

Michael: God, Lars, I'm sorry-

Lars: Forget about it, Michael. 

(Principal Gupta opens the door.) 

Principal Gupta: You can come in now. 

Me: We're dead. 

(In the limo on the way to the loft. Dad is glaring at us while Lars and I shift uncomfortably in our seats.)

Dad: (finally speaking) _What_ were you _thinking_?

Me: I don't know. 

Dad: Just who is this boy? And what happened to that boy you were dating, what's his name-Kenny?

Me: We broke up. And that was Michael Moscovitz.

Dad: The boy you were dating?

Me: No. The boy I was making out with in the closet. 

Dad: Oh. (turns to Lars) And you! What were _you_ thinking, letting her go off with this boy to do God knows what?

Me: Dad, it wasn't Lars's fault. I _told_ him to wait outside!

Dad: (pointing towards me) And you _listened_ to her?

Me: (resentfully) Dad, you should talk. You have a new girlfriend every week! And you do a _lot_ more than Michael and I did.

Dad: (stammering) But that-well it-we-I-

Me: And I've known Michael for _eight years_. It's not like he's a complete stranger. Shouldn't we be focusing on my successes, like me pulling my F in algebra to a D?

Dad: How about we focus on the fact that you've got detention for the entire week?

(In the loft. Dad has just filled Mom and Frank in on the day's events.)

Mom: She was making out in _school_?

Frank: In the _janitor's closet_?

Mom: With _Michael Moscovitz_?

(I put my head into my hands.)

Mom: Mia, what were you-

Frank: (simultaniously) How could you do something-

Mom: -thinking?

Frank: -so irresponsible?

Me: (with head in hands) I don't know, okay? It just happened. 

Mom: Have you even considered the fact that Michael's a senior and he's leaving at the end of the year?

Dad: (leaning back in his chair) Oh, this just gets better and better. 

(Lars coughs and everyone turns to stare at him.)

Lars: May I say something? I happen to know for a fact that Michael has had feelings for Mia for a long time, but was-er-unable to voice them.

Me: (taking head out of hands and looking at Lars hopefully) Really?

Dad: Well, why didn't he say something?

Lars: (shrugging) Well, she was three years younger than he was, he had no idea how she felt, she was his little sister's best friend, and there was the whole princess thing. Oh, and the fact that she had a boyfriend. 

So, here I am, writing this. Basically, I'm grounded for a week. For the first time in my life. The only things I can do are go to school, review sessions, detention, and princess lessons with Grandmere. Ugh.

Lars isn't going to be fired, thank God, as long as nothing like this ever happens again. 

As soon as I'm not grounded, Dad wants to meet Michael and grill him as to why he thinks he's good enough for me. That's not going to be fun. 

I am, luckily, allowed to go on the Internet. When I got on, someone was instant-messaging me. It was Michael. 

I've pasted our conversation here:

CracKing: What a day.

FtLouie: No kidding. Frank's stunned, my mom's in shock that it was YOU I was making out with, and my dad's ready to send me to a convent. How about you?

CracKing: My parents were in shock. They had no idea that I had a thing for you, much less that it had been going on for eight years. They think it reflects on their abilities as psychoanaylists and parents. 

FtLouie: You had a thing for me when I was SIX! No way. 

I can't believe it? All this time, I had a sweet, gorgeous, smart guy after me and I didn't even know about it! Think about what it would have done for my self-esteem! 

CracKing: Yes, way. So, do you?

FtLouie: Do I what?

CracKing: Have a thing for me.

What, he didn't know? For someone who is so smart, Michael can be just as dense as his sister.

FtLouie: I should think that was pretty obvious, Michael.

CracKing: You were obvious? What about me, huh? Remember Tall Drink Of Water? Just who did you think that song was about?

FtLouie: I don't know! It's just-you never really acted like you were interested.

CracKing: Thermopolis, what are you, BLIND?!!!! I tutored you in algebra, walked around without my shirt, purposely hung around Lilly when you were in the apartment-what more do I have to do?????

FtLouie: Okay, okay, I get it. Jeez, now who's using excessive punctuation?

CracKing: Ha, ha. How's Lars? Is he fired?

FtLouie: No, but he is on probation. So, what are we?

CracKing: Huh?

FtLouie: You know. Is this a one-time thing, or are we-you know, going out?

CracKing: Do you want to go out?

Now, normally I'd be terrified of this kind of question. But-I don't know, we'd been telling the truth so far. Why should I stop now, at a question that is really important?

FtLouie: Yeah. I do.

CracKing: Then we are. Simple.

FtLouie: Really?

CracKing: Yeah. Really. 

FtLouie: Okay. Good.

CracKing: Oh, crap.

What? I thought he _wanted_ to go out with me.

FtLouie: Glad to know you're so thrilled to go out with me.

CracKing: No, no, it's not that. What's Lilly going to say when she finds out?

FtLouie: Aaaah!

CracKing: Exactly.

We are so dead. Our parents are _nothing_ compared to Lilly. She is going to have a fit!

FtLouie: She's going to kill us. 

CracKing: I know. 

FtLouie: Maybe we don't have to tell her. You know, keep it secret. Like Romeo and Juliet.

CracKing: Thermopolis, have you lost your MIND? Do you REMEMBER how that story ends?

FtLouie: Oh, yeah.


	2. In Which We Go Into The Warped Minds Of ...

Inside The Warped Minds of the Moscovitz Family

Summary: All four of the Moscovitzes are writing in their journals after Michael and Mia were caught in the janitor's closet. Since I don't know the Drs. Moscovitz first names, I'm making them up. 

Characters: All four members of the Moscovitz family.

Disclaimer: Basically, anything and anyone you recognise belongs to Meg Cabot.

Lilly's POV:

Monday, November 16th

Fact: My brother has a thing for my best friend and vice versa.

Fact: They made out while my brother (hearby known as Michael) was _supposed_ to be tutoring my best friend (hearby known as Mia).

Fact: At the time, Mia had a boyfriend.

Fact: After making out with Michael, Mia broke up with said boyfriend.

Fact: Michael and Mia avoided each other all day after said make-out fest.

Fact: Michael and Mia ended up making out in the janitor's closet after school, somehow managing to give Mia's bodyguard, Lars, the slip. (Don't ask me how they did it, because I have no idea.)

Fact: They got caught by Principal Gupta.

Fact: Both are in _major_ trouble with their parents. 

Fact: Neither one of them has bothered to tell me.

Fact: After writing all of the above down, I _still_ can't believe it!

Okay, now that it's in cold writing, I'm really trying to accept this.

HOW COULD THEY DO THIS????!!!! AND HOW COULD THEY NOT TELL ME!!??!!??!!

As you can obviously tell, I am _not_ in the acceptance faze. 

How come I'm always the last one to know, hmmm? I mean, since Mia and I are best friends, you'd thing she'd observe the law that says you tell your best friend everything, and before anyone else. (Okay, I may not observe this all the time, but when does Mia observe this? Hardly ever.)

But nooo, I don't get special privileges just because we're best friends and have known each other forever.

You think this is a one-time thing? Hah!

First, the whole princess thing. Then, going out with Josh Richter. (Ew.) Then, the fact that she was getting interviewed by Beverly Bellerieve. Then, the fact that her mother had been impregnated by Mr. Gianini.

And now this. God, before you know it, they'll be pulling a Josh Richter/Lana Weinburger on me and start having suck-face fests 24/7!

How did I find out? Simple. I overheard Mom and Dad talking, confronted them, and dragged the truth out until I knew everything. I came here to my room to try and take this calmly.

Hasn't worked yet.

Okay, that's _it._ I am a self-actualized being, unlike some people I could mention. I do not have a fear of confrontation. I am going to go to Michael's room and tell him calmly and rationally how I feel.

Then I'm going to beat the stuffing out of him. 

Michael's POV:

Monday, November 16th 

I'm still a little bit in shock. I mean, Mia's my-well, I guess she's my girlfriend. I'm dating Mia Thermopolis. God, does it feel good to write that! No more jealously of Kenny, no more having to annoy Lilly while Mia's here just to get her attention…

This is great! So I have detention for a week. So what? I'm dating Mia Thermopolis. And I made out with her. Twice.

 I've been looking for a CD to listen to that matches my mood, but so far, nothing. Linkin Park's album is mostly harsh, angry stuff that I listen to when I'm in a really pissed-off mood. Staind, uh-uh. Too depressing. P.O.D's song _Alive_ would be good, but I lent that to one of my friends.

Unfortunately, Lilly found out. And boy, is she pissed. This is worse than the time I flushed her teddy bear down the toilet and it got stuck and we had to call the plumber, who charged a fortune and made my father shake his head over the state of the world and its children today.

I don't think it's so much the fact that it's _Mia _I made out with, but that neither of us filled her in. At least, that's what I gathered from her ranting. 

After reading me the riot act, Lilly warned that if I ever, EVER hurt Mia in any way, she would be forced to to kill me and then hide the chopped-up remains of my body in the walls of the apartment. 

Right now, she's on the phone giving Mia the same warning. 

All things considered, she took this pretty well.

Kate Moscovitz's POV:

Monday, November 16th

My son made out with the princess of Genovia. Twice. 

I can't believe this!

I mean, every day I help women who can't believe what their children have done. But still…

I should be taking this calmly and rationally. I mean, my son may be practically a genius, but he's still a bunch of walking hormones. And putting an attractive girl like Mia in front of him all the time…well, it was practically inevitable that something like this would happen. 

But the realization that my son has had feelings for this girl for _eight years_…Good Lord, most people can't even manage to stay _married_ for eight years! And he was _nine_. Nine! How is it possible that my son fell in love when he was nine years old and managed to stay in love with the same girl for eight years?

Of course, I know that Michael's not to be judged by other people's behavior. His mission in life is to go against the grain and to be as much of a non-conformer as possible. Which is great, since all the great minds in history were non-comformists, but honestly!

I have to admit, I'm a little alarmed. The fact that Michael's a senior and Mia's a freshmen is a matter for concern. Not to mention the fact that Mia's father looked ready to explode in the principal's office. 

I'm still trying to figure out how they managed to get rid of Mia's bodyguard at the school to make out in the janitor's closet. I mean, I've seen the man. And his gun. 

I always knew Michael had ingenuity, still, I'm at a loss.

And the _janitor's closet_. Good grief, of all the places to-well, really, I know Paul and I did the same thing in college, but for the love of God-

Oh, I'm too emotional to deal with this right now. Michael's got to be punished, I know that, but how do you punish your child for confronting his problems head-on and dealing with his emotions? I mean, I've been complaining for years that Michael's got a problem with verbalizing his emotions. Rather like Mia, now that I come to think about it…

I almost forgot, Lilly found out. And as I'd feared, she threw a fit. I can't really blame the girl, since her _brother_ had fallen for her _best friend_, of all people. 

However, I'm almost positive we'll get complaints from the neighbors about Lilly's yelling. I really must talk to her tomorrow about her problem with verbalizing her emotions _calmly_. As much as I hate to admit it, Lilly does have a borderline authoritarian personality disorder. 

Tomorrow, I'll write more. Now, I'm just too tired. Thank God for Maya, since I couldn't handle cleaning up after dinner right now.

Paul Moscovitz's POV:

11/16

I'm really trying to take this calmly. There is really no point in getting upset over this. This does not reflect on my abilities as a parent or a psychoanalyst. Michael has always been secretive. That's just how he is.

But how can this NOT reflect on my abilities? Somewhere over the past eight years, I should have realised that Michael had feelings for Mia. 

Now that I think about it, they were signs all over the place. The way his face lit up whenever Mia would walk in, why he'd always find excuses to go into Lilly's room when Mia was here, why he was tutoring her in algebra when he could be working on _Crackhead! _…Michael loves working on Crackhead!, and he gave up time he usually spent on that to help Mia. 

For some reason, I didn't realise that his reasons weren't exactly altruistic.

I'm really not sure now why I didn't see this coming. Mia _is_ a very attractive girl, and Michael's only human, after all. Something was bound to happen. 

I really hope her parents aren't too upset. Helen Thermopolis and Kate have become friends over the years, and I'd really hate something like this to ruin their friendship. 

Lilly, obviously, didn't take it well. Actually, for her she did. Lilly never really has a problem speaking her mind, and the uppermost thing on her mind, evidently was making up a list called _Fifty Ways To Decapitate Your Sibling_. 

What a day. Kate and I still have to come up with a reasonable punishment. On one hand, it is a good thing, him facing his emotions and acting on them, which is what we've been preaching to Michael and Lilly all their lives. But really though, the janitor's closet? So Kate and I did the same thing in college. We were in college and we were adults. But Mia's the princess of Genovia, for God's sake. 

We'll decide tomorrow morning. Thank God, Principal Gupta is so discreet, otherwise this would be on the front page of the New York Post tomorrow. 


	3. In Which Dancing Utensils Run Amock

A/N: Okay, I'm SO SORRY for taking so long with this. Really. I can't keep complaining about the authors who make us wait forever for new chapters to their fics when I can't update new chapters myself. All I can say in my defense was that I had a major case of writer's block. Anyway, to the reviewer who said that the second chapter's POVS were OOC, I re-read them, and yes, you're right. Someday I might rewrite them, but right now, I've decided not to do anyone's POV in this chapter and write from a third-person point of view. So, if you're still reading after that little spell of rambling, enjoy the final chapter of Mia Thermopolis: Two-Timing Girlfriend. 

Tuesday, November, 17th 

Mia smiled hesitantly as Michael and Lilly got into the limo.

"Hey," she said to Michael.

Michael grinned back. "Hey."

Lilly groaned. "Are you two going to be making ga-ga eyes all the time now? Tell me in advance so I can figure out where to hurl."

Michael rolled his eyes and Mia giggled. Then Mia frowned and bit her lip. 

"What's wrong?" Michael asked. 

Mia sighed. "Kenny."

"Oh, yeah," Michael sighed as well. "How do you think he's going to react?"

Lilly raised her eyebrows. "Michael, she broke up with him yesterday and started going out with you a couple hours later. How do you _think_ he's going to react?"

Michael slumped in his seat. "I wouldn't blame him if he laced my burger with arsenic."

"Maybe…" Mia suggested, "if we don't act like a couple-at least for a while-"

Lilly snorted. "Good luck. Here's a hint: You might want to quit acting all lovey-dovey, otherwise everyone'll know something's up."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Eight days later…(A/N: Michael and Mia have decided that they can-er engage in public displays of affection since Kenny's made it clear he's cool with it.)

Mia walked up to Michael and held up three tickets. "What are these?" she demanded. 

Michael raised an eyebrow. "They look like tickets."

"I found them in my Algebra notebook. They're three tickets to see _Beauty and the Beast_ on Broadway." Mia shot him a look. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, now would you?"  
  


"Me?" Michael asked, affecting an innocent look. "Come on, how could I get three tickets to Broadway?"

"That's kind of what I'd like to know," Mia said. 

Michael sighed. "Fine. I've got connections, and I thought that you, me, and Lars could go see it. After all, I don't think that your parents are going to let me go anywhere with you without Lars following us."

Mia raised an eyebrow teasingly. "_You_ have connections."

Michael sighed again. "All right, my dad analyses one of the actors and I managed to wrangle some seats. Happy?"

Mia grinned. "Yes." She hugged him, then asked, "Hey, I thought you said that any guy without an ounce of testosterone couldn't watch the show without projectile vomiting. What changed your mind?"

Michael shrugged. "I still think that, Mia. Come on, there's dancing utensils in there, for God's sake."

"So why'd you get them?"

"Here's your chance to prove me wrong."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Absolutely not," Phillipe insisted. 

Mia sighed. "Dad, you don't even know him!"

Grandmere walked into the suite, asking, "Know who?"

"I know that I don't want him anywhere near you," Phillipe shot back. "Besides, what do we _really_ know about this boy?"

Mia groaned. "I've known his family for EIGHT YEARS! I have sleepovers with his sister all the time, he's gotten into an Ivy League college, and I know that I really, really like him."

"Like WHO?" Grandmere demanded. 

Lars pulled the dowager princess aside and explained what was going on. As he was doing so, Phillipe and Mia continued arguing. 

"Let me get this straight. Your mother's actually _agreed_ to let you go out with this delinquent?" Phillipe asked. 

"For God's sake, Dad, he's not a delinquent!"

Grandmere interrupted. "Let me get this straight: You were kissing this boy in the janitor's closet, got caught, want to go out with him, and I'm finding this out NOW?"

Mia gulped. "Yes."

"Oh, for God's sake, Phillipe, just let her go," Grandmere told her son. 

Phillipe and Mia's jaws dropped, and she barked, "Close your mouths, please."

"Mother, have you lost your mind?" Phillipe demanded. "You're actually suggesting we let her go-"

"Phillipe, really, how much trouble can they get into at a musical with a bodyguard?" Grandmere asked. 

Mia hugged her grandmother. "Thank you so much!" she gushed, then turned to her father. "See, Grandmere thinks it's okay."

Phillipe rubbed his head, then sighed. "Fine. But on one condition…"

~*~*~*~*~*~

CracKing: You're SURE I have to meet your dad?

FtLouie: For the hundredth and hopefully last time, yes, Michael, you HAVE to meet my father.

CracKing: You know, I think I liked it better when you were in awe of me. 

FtLouie: When was I EVER in awe of you?

CracKing: Come on, Mia, admit it. You worshipped me.

CracKing: Hell, you were ready to create a statue in my honor!

FtLouie: I am so sure!

CracKing: Oh, you were too. Hey, I saw you checking me out when I didn't wear a shirt. 

FtLouie: It was kind of hard not to, seeing as how you prance around without one everytime I come over. 

CracKing: Excuse me, but I do not PRANCE. 

FtLouie: Oh, you SO prance. Not that I minded…

FtLouie: I can't speak for Lilly though.

CracKing: What happened to the sweet, shy, oh-so-innocent Mia who never said a naughty word or a bad thing about anyone?

CracKing: Oh, wait. I forgot. You were introduced to my psychopath of a sister. 

FtLouie: (rolling eyes) ANYWAY, my dad's going to interrogate you, so be prepared. You know, what college you're going to, what's your major, why you decided to seduce his only child…

CracKing: Okay, hold it right there. I DID NOT seduce you, all right? You kissed me back!

FtLouie: Michael, after what happened in the janitor's closet, my father views you as the Anti-Christ. You should have seen his face when I told him. It was like I was asking him if I could go out with Marilyn Manson. 

CracKing: This is just the kind of impression I wanted to make. How'd you convince them to let you go?

FtLouie: By agreeing to let my dad interrogate you for a solid five minutes.

CracKing: Damn. I'm screwed.

FtLouie: Got that right.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Mr. Gianini smiled as he let Michael in. "Hey, Michael. Come on in."

"Thanks," Michael said. He took a deep breath. "How's it looking out there?" he whispered. 

Mr. Gianini whispered back, "Her father's out for blood."

Michael grimaced, then walked toward the kitchen, where Mia's parents were waiting for him in chairs. 

"Ms. Thermopolis, Your Highness," Michael said nervously. 

"Hello, Michael," Helen said warmly. Phillipe nodded coolly. 

There was a long awkward moment where no one knew precisely what to say. 

Then Phillipe cleared his throat. "So. I hear you're going to Columbia."

"Yes, sir." 

"What's your major?"

Michael took a deep breath. "Computer technology."

Phillipe nodded. Thankfully, Helen chose to interrupt. 

"Michael, is your sister really going to-"

Then Mia came out and Michael's jaw dropped.

She was wearing a silvery-grey dress that set off her eyes, sliver clips in her hair, pale pink lip gloss, and silver shoes to match. 

"Wow," Michael said softly. "You look-wow."

Mia giggled, then grabbed his arm. "ByeMomDadFrankcomeonLars," Mia rushed out, dragging Michael towards the door. Lars followed them, smirking in amusement. 

"Ah, young love," Mr. Gianini remarked. 

"Puppy love, you mean," Phillipe countered cynically.

"You are such a cynic," Helen said. "What if it's not?"

Phillipe looked at her skeptically. "Please. It'll be over in two weeks."

"Unlike you, Mr. I-Have-A-New-Girlfriend-Every-Week, Mia takes after me when it comes to romantic interests." Helen stated. 

"Let's hope she takes after me in every other respect, because if she doesn't, then Genovia is doomed," Phillipe shot back. 

"My God, you two are like little old ladies bickering over the last can of prune juice," Mr. Gianini observed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

At the show….

Michael tapped Mia's arm, "Mia, are the forks supposed to shove each other?"

"Of course not," Mia whispered back. "Why?"

" 'Cause the forks are doing just that-oh man! They're fighting on the stage!" Michael yelled. 

"Okay, now I KNOW that's not supposed to happen," Mia stated, her eyes growing wide. 

Lars peered through his binoculars. "Princess, the clock and candlesticks are now getting into it," he informed them. 

Michael sat back in his seat, throughly enjoying himself. "This is better than pay-per-view wrestling."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In the limo…

"Come on, Mia, you have to admit that was the most fun you've had at that show."

Mia grinned. "It was definitely the most interesting show I've seen."

Michael laughed. "How about you, Lars?"

Lars considered, then said, "I am now convinced that America is the strangest country on the face of the earth, and Americans the strangest people. Nowhere else can you find dancing forks attacking each other while the heroine and the teapot are trying to rip each other's hair out."

Both Michael and Mia started laughing. "We're here," Lars said. He stepped out to let Mia out of the limo. Michael got out after her, and took her hand. 

"Is Lars going to kill me if I kiss you right now?" Michael inquired. 

Mia looked at her bodyguard. "Lars, turn around so you won't have to witness this."

Lars turned around oblingingly. As he waited he thought grimly, _All those months of training and studying on terrorist attacks and I'm guarding two teenagers with overactive hormones. Good God Almighty. _


End file.
